Courage, daughter. (Matthew 9:22)
I think we all "want" to be more courageous. Especially in our faith walk. Rereading Matthew 9 today, I was drawn to the keyboard, and decided to share...this writing is more of a meditation. Might be most helpful to digest in segments as it's has multiple layers as my fingers moved and my mind journeyed through the times I've sat with this passage.
"Courage, Daughter," was the message God put on my heart in March as I turned 50. At that time it resonated and as with many things, I moved on. Yet, today He used a beautiful young teenage soul to bring it back for further reflection. As I think of the ways I've seen God at work in the last couple days I have been in awe. I truly want to respond in gratitude and wonder, but I find myself instead having a flow of words I'm typing. They feel like disjointed thoughts--perhaps not meant to be shared right now, but praying maybe that there may be a nugget or two that serves someone. Even one.
I sense God saying that. Can you be okay with 'just one'? It was JUST ONE woman who touched me. I sought her in the crowd so she would know. The idea of Him saying: I see you. I feel your touch. This IS real. Sometimes that's what Jesus generously does in the consolation times of prayer. He is saying, "I see you." And that could in itself be enough for that encounter. So pause on that because maybe that is enough.
But if we want to reflect further. Let's consider, in the midst of our seeking Him, wanting to touch Him and be transformed through faith--when we encounter Him...and we see Him work in our life --as we hoped, or in ways we hadn’t expected--how do we respond?
Do we lean in and seek all the more? Or do we step back, stunned. Grateful, hopeful--but suddenly doubting self. “Who am I” or “What was I thinking?” It’s seemingly logical that you might draw back in shock or awe when you see God’s mighty hand working in your life. Yet, fight the urge (whether it comes from natural human tendencies or the devil) to question yourself, or to doubt your faith. Rather, confidently know that He is saying, “Courage, daughter.” Just as he said to the hemorrhaging woman. “Take courage! Your faith has saved you.” May you see your faith is at work in Him. And may you find peace in him saying: I see you!
Now, a different twist.
That funny little quip, “It’s not you, it’s me” --just picture Jesus smiling saying that to you! While you're stunned saying, wait. What did I just do? How is this possible (whatever 'this' is that you're in awe over). He's reminding us, don't freak out! You just experienced what I can do, IN--around, or through YOU1 Doesn’t that give the moment a little levity? it's not you (silly!) IT's ME...me at work!
Instead of letting fear rob you of the view, stand in gratitude and wonder when you see him at work. It's not you anyway, it's all Him. So then just pause in awe....and wonder: "Well, what's next then?"
But what if we do ask (or seek his touch) He shows up, then we freak out...or doubt? That's HUMAN! ...so ‘Courage, Daughter.’ Let Him keep working through you!
OR--another option that may resonate with us at other times in life... We doubt before we ever even seek. We don’t ask. We don't believe we can or should pursue Him? We just stand in the crowd instead of seeking to touch...to encounter...Him.
We may not be as SURE as the woman who had hemorrhages for 12 years. She was ‘sure’ if she could just touch the tassels on his cloak, she could be healed. Her confidence was NOT in herself, or in the tassels, or in saying the right words recited in prayer, or anything other than being SURE of his power to heal her.
Why don't we seek Him with such confidence?
Have we sought Him in the past and found disappointment in answers, or outcome? Or have we sought Him and not "felt" any sort of encounter?
Maybe the bigger question is have I really even pursued Him?
You can be assured that when you draw near to Him, he will draw near to you. Prayer is a transformation of the one who prays. Be sure that if the answer is no, or not now, He will still answer! And you will be ‘changed for the better’ (had to toss in a little broadway reference too for my Wicked friends). And HE DOES SEE YOU....so have confidence in the pursuit.
Jesus has His plans for you. He has His plans for each of us. We may use free will and make choices that are out of his ‘perfect will’ but within his ‘permissive will’ He can bring good from all our forks in the road. So you can have courage that you are exactly where He knew you would be right now. Because we are His, He has his plans for us--His plans, not ours.(Jer 29:11) And his ultimate plan invites us to love and abide in Him in this world, and forever in His kingdom in Heaven. So we can tell Him about those things in life that are prohibiting you drawing nearer to him. What are those areas that make you draw back from abiding in Him? Where do you feel sadness, shame or fear? The devil wants you to draw back. Jesus is calling you to have confidence (COURAGE, daughter)--in HIM and bring those things to him. Bring them into the light. He is THE light.
Tell him. Ask Him.
Are you seeking to be a conduit of Love, wishing to honor God by obediently following His will? These are all things that you can be ‘confident’ are within His plans/will too. So boldly seek. Passionately pursue: Him! Touch the tassels (act in obedience) and believe that He sees your faithfulness.
Whatever place God finds you, remember HE finds you there. He IS there. So you can trust that He knows where you are, where you’re going and when you need to get there.
Let yourself sit with Him. Maybe meditate/contemplate these questions. Listen for Him to respond as well.
What do I seek to ask of Him? What do I need healed that I can’t do otherwise?
What area of my life do I need to stand in confidence as His daughter and know that He can change, heal, grow or transform me into His image.
We can pray with any words, but perhaps these words could be a starting place for contemplation--(asserting the applicable plea*) praying with confidence:
I trust you will bring good from all I’m going through. I lay it at your feet. I am not confident that I am enough to handle this, but I know that YOU are. So I will take courage that I am the daughter (son) of the mighty King and by your might I will be able to do what you ask of me.
*You can transform this vice. You can increase my virtue. You can give me the love I need to work through this trial. You can, and I pray will--heal this illness--
....but whatever you will, I know that you will give me the strength I need. Jesus, I trust in you.
Courage, Daughter (son).
St Jose Maria Escriva:
“You find yourself in a position which seems rather strange: on the one hand, you feel faithhearted, as you look inward; on the other, sure, encouraged, as you look upwards.Don’t worry: it is a sign that you are beginning to know yourself better and --more importantly!--that you are beginning to know him better. <122, The Furrow>
St Jose Maria Escriva:
Do you want to be daring in a holy way, so that God may act through you? Have recourse to Mary, and she will accompany you along the path of humility, so that, when faced by what to the human mind is impossible, you may be able to answer with a fiat!--be it done!, which unites the earth to Heaven. <124, The Furrow>
Comments